So you heard about this? MTV dropped Sacha Baron Cohen’s balls directly into Eminem’s mouth. Remember Sacha Baron Cohen? No. Bruno? No. Ali G? No. Borat? Okay, yea, that guy, he’s British and like eight feet tall, actually pretty funny. Well, in order to promote stupidity (the only product MTV auctually produces,) MTV stagged an “accident” where a scantly clad Bruno, (who is Sacha Baron Cohen, who is Ali G, who is Borat just to clarify,) dressed as “Ich bin dove of peace” fell from the sky, and his man eggs landed in Eminem’s (who is Slim Shady, who is Marshall Mathers just to clarify,) mouth. (continue reading…)

Hello sissy girls, it is I, El Drako, I have returned to make the mens’ hearts quiver with fear, and to make the womens’ hearts tremble with desire. I find it necessary to express my distress for the way you Americans treat your wrestlers. I will have you to know, that in San Diablo, all give honer to the mighty calf muscles of El Drako. (continue reading…)

I continue to read the news, against the advice of my physician concerning my high blood pressure. I was reading something interesting today about copyright infringement. Now, I and copyright infringement go back quite a long ways, ever since I wrote my first report in grade school: “We choose to go to the moon.” Anyway, let’s just say, I know to call a spade a spade, because when I see a bird that walks like a duck, and swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck.

But I also know when something isn’t copyright infringement. I’ll tell you what isn’t copyright infringement, when you have your domain point another site. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “No shit Big Don Drakoni, everyone knows that.” Well, don’t even think that way about me, I’ll smack your face off and use it to degrease my engine. (continue reading…)

So you ever heard of Elisabeth Hasselbeck? Me neither. That was, until I turned on the TV the other night and first heard the verbal equivalent of bubbling bong water that comes out of her mouth. Apparently, Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a former contestant on Survivor: The Australian Outback, (she lost by the way,) and is now a full time co-host on The View, (which sucks by the way.) So, I’m flippin’ channels, and I see Greta Van Susteren, (a mouthpiece for Scientology,) interviewing Elisabeth Hasselbeck, (a mouthpiece for stupidity.) (continue reading…)

Good evening. Allow me to make acquaintances with you. My name is Raphael Michael Jason Cornelius Drakoni of Roseto the third, but you can call me Big Don Drakoni, and nothing else if you know what’s good for you. It would be a shame if I had to show you how we deal with disrespect in the old country. I am a man of pride, and honor, and baseball bat beat downs, let’s not forget the beat downs. (continue reading…)

Hello sissy girls, I am El Drako. Tremble in fear, with quivering lower lip, for I will twist you like pretzel, and break your back over my knee cap, like so. I have traveled long distance, and broken many backs along the way, to bring you an extra-large jar full of extra spicy whoopass flavored picante sauce. You like I make you a burrito? Maybe I might, a burrito of pain! (continue reading…)

Hey, it’s been a while since you heard from me. I know, I’ve been out like Lottie’s eye for a couple years, but I told you I’d be back when I had time to write again, and I wouldn’t lie to you. So there you have it, all you other sissies can go back into hiding, because the boss is back. (continue reading…)