drakegta.com

Archive for June, 2009

Billy Mays Dead: Vince Offer Suspiciously Unavailable for Comment

by Darian rake on Jun.28, 2009, under Rants

You have to respect a guy who’s ads were so clever, that he could interrupt our favorite TV shows screaming like a mad man about products that never worked like they were supposed to anyways, and yet, we let that slide and he became a minor celebrity. You like conspiracy theories? Well, you heard it here first. (continue reading…)

2 Comments :, , , , , , , more...

Michael Jackson Dead: Macaulay Culkin Suspiciously Unavailable for Comment

by Darian rake on Jun.25, 2009, under Rants

You have to respect a guy who’s music was so good, he could turn himself into a white woman, take that Home Alone kid to “Never Never Land,” and dangle his children off of a balcony, and yet, we let all that slide. You like conspiracy theories? Well, you heard it here first. (continue reading…)

8 Comments :, , , , more...

Tattoo Artists: No Respect or Lonely Tattooist Seeks Naive Young Wife

by Big Don Drakoni on Jun.16, 2009, under Rants

Hey pizanos, it’s the Big Don Drakoni Super Show, hosted by me, Raphael Michael Jason Cornelius Drakoni of Roseto the third; your host. I want to share a story with you, a regular Greek tragedy, and I’m not talking about the movie Troy. I’m talking about an unfortunate girl named Kimberley Vlaminck, who feel asleep, and woke up with fifty-six stars tattooed on her face, just like sleeping beauty, but without the princess, or the prince, and with a tattoo gun. (continue reading…)

4 Comments :, , , more...

How-to be an Awesome Internet Ranter, a Thirteen Step Guide

by Darian rake on Jun.11, 2009, under Rants

I have created a simple guide to being awesome, and becoming internet famous. There may be other ways of doing this, but this is what worked for me.

Step One: Read this guide, no one has ever become internet famous or awesome without first reading this guide. (continue reading…)

3 Comments :, , , , more...

Six Word Stories

by Darian rake on Jun.09, 2009, under News

Hey, just wanted to brag, a couple of my submissions were accepted by “Six Word Stories.”

Paralytic worked fast. Intubation too slow.

Identity thief got loans I couldn’t.
(continue reading…)

Leave a Comment :, , more...

Jay-Z calls out the Auto-Tuners

by Darian rake on Jun.07, 2009, under Rants

So I like to keep up-to-date on the world of pop-culture. I couldn’t help but notice the other day when Jay-Z called out the so called “Auto-Tune” rappers with his new single, “D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune).” Most interestingly, the track was produced by Kanye West, who gave us an entire album done in auto-tune. (continue reading…)

2 Comments more...

Kim Jong Is the Il-ist or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and – Oh Shit We’re All Gonna Die

by Darian rake on Jun.01, 2009, under Rants

So we’ve heard a lot about North Korea lately, mostly because Lindsay Lohan hasn’t been driving and seems to have learned the trick to getting out of a limo without showing her love bug. But for those of you who haven’t been following this growing crisis as closely as I have, allow me to present a summery: put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye, because we’re all going to die! (continue reading…)

Leave a Comment :, , , , more...

Looking for something?

Use the form below to search the site:

Still not finding what you're looking for? Drop a comment on a post or contact us so we can take care of it!

More content.

More DrakeGTA here...

Archives

All entries, chronologically...