Old Man McDrake, you won’t believe this shit. I’m forty-two right, and this forty-eight year-old guy I was dating moved in with me, everything was good for aboot a year. Aboot two months ago, he told me he was leaving me for a younger woman, that was upsetting enough, until I find out that this younger woman is my eighteen year-old daughter, who has recently moved out of my house, and moved in with him. Wait, wait, it gets better, she moved into a flat with him; but she didn’t take her husband and two kids, who all still live with me. I thought maybe this was a joke, or it would only last a couple of weeks, but it been two months, and my daughter still sends me texts about the great sex she’s having with my boyfriend. What the fuck? I mean seriously McDrake, what the hell would you do? I’m thinking aboot taking a hockey stick to the whole lot of them.

Vengeful in Vancouver (continue reading…)

So I’m an ol’ school ranter; I’ve been keepin’ the streets on beets from sunup to sundown and stayin’ true to da game since a time when Rob Zombie was culturally relevant. I’ve had my mind on my ranting and my ranting on my mind since long before cats started wanting cheeseburgers. Hardly a day goes by that people don’t write me and say “Drake, you’re so awesome, and cool, and sexy; and you totally aren’t a friendless loser trying to act cool on the Internet, what can I do to be more like you?” Well, with that in mind-

Anyway, here are the Seven Habits of Highly Effective Ranters. (continue reading…)

F*** me dead I just noticed I have not updated this since long before Shakespeare wast a boy… You would not believe that my hands were chopped off and I was waiting for bionic ones. I hope you still love me!. (continue reading…)

Those of you familiar with the old Drakegta.com (both of you) will remember my old Seal of Awesomeness. The Drakegta.com Seal of Awesomeness is an award so prestigious, that it’s only been awarded twice in the history of the universe, until now. Gentlemen, and gentlemen pretending to be ladies, let me introduce you to the product that will change your life forever: Jim Beam Red Stag.

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