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DrakeGTA

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You’ve read them before, depressing tragedies, pointless dramas, stories where the protagonist learns a lesson in the end. You won’t find any of that here. This is Darian rake, the Good Time Author. You won’t find any of that crap that makes you think to deeply here, it’s all fast times and sweet rides. Why stress your brain worrying about plot and development, DrakeGTA.com is all about action, and drinking, and, well, not much else. So turn your brain off and enjoy.

Posts by DrakeGTA:

Drunken Cookery: Frito Pie De La Me Gusta

by on Feb.26, 2012, under Drunken Cookery

So we all have our own comfort foods. Some of us find comfort in donuts, some of us find comfort in the misfortune of our enemies, not me, I find comfort in Frito Pies, and middle-shelf vodka. In fact, I’m what you might call a Frito Pie connoisseur. That’s why I’m able to tell you how to make one of the best Frito Pies you’ll ever eat; I call it “Frito Pie De La Me Gusta.” (continue reading…)

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Drunken Cookery: The Best Damn Hash Browns You’ll Ever Put in Your Mouth

by on Jan.22, 2012, under Drunken Cookery

So it’s Sunday morning, the kids are screaming to be fed, and I’m hungover. Like any good Irishman, I’m dealing with my hangover the traditional Nazareth way, Hair of the Dog. You know what that means! I better get to cooking, and you’ll get a new episode of drunk cookery. Now there is already one dish for which I am famous the world over, it’s “The Best Damn Hash Browns You’ll Ever Put in Your Mouth.” So purge your digestive tract and make way, because here it comes. (continue reading…)

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Drunken Cookery: Fancy Pigs In A Blanket

by on Dec.11, 2011, under Drunken Cookery

So in the interest of trying something new, I’ve started a new category of posts for my site, I call it “Drunken Cookery.” Since this is my first endeavor in into Drunken Cookery, and I don’t know how to cook, and I’m drunk, I thought I’d keep it simple. This week, Fancy Pigs In A Blanket. (continue reading…)

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The Bar Has Been Raised: Go Big, or Go Home

by on Oct.16, 2011, under Rants

So there is this supposedly ancient Chinese curse, it goes: “May you live in interesting times.” We’ve reached a point in this nation where parts of many major cities resemble Dresden Germany following a visit from allied bombers in 1945. I thought things were getting “interesting” when I heard of thieves breaking into people’s houses and stealing the copper pipes to sell for scrap, but now that they are stealing bricks, literally stealing the bricks that houses and buildings are made out of, you know that’s “interesting.” But fuck those small minded crooks, let me tell you about a couple of fellows who have raised the bar. (continue reading…)

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No One Wants To See Your Weiner

by on Jun.12, 2011, under Rants

I know, I know, it’s been months, but I haven’t updated because I generally try to avoid political topics, and EVERYTHING seems to have a political spin lately. But mostly, I just wanted to log in and provide a short P.S.A. for the betterment of all mankind. Listen up guys, no one wants to see your junk. (continue reading…)

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A big giant fuck you for Walgreens

by on Jan.14, 2011, under Rants

For those of you who are unfamiliar, I do not like to muddle my online personality with my real life. This is mostly because the internet is full of assholes, creeps, and weirdo stalkers who would like to wear my body as a skinsuit for their high-school reunion. However, today I make an important exception. (continue reading…)

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On Music Videos

by on Dec.05, 2010, under Rants

So I’d like to take a minute (just sit right there) to talk about a small issue that has been perplexing me lately. As your friendly neighborhood neck-beard, I must watch music videos, because it is imperative that I stay abreast of modern culture. (Ha ha, I said breast.) (continue reading…)

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I’ve heard of cutting off your nose to spite your face, but…

by on May.11, 2010, under Rants

I’ve heard of cutting off your nose to spite your face, but this is ridiculous. Apparently a “jilted” teenager cut off his penis to spite his girlfriend when he found out that she was about to marry another guy. Yea, that’ll show her buddy.

Bloody amateurs! Vengeance is best served cold. If I were giving advice to that Indonesian boy, I would have told him to do this… (continue reading…)

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Don’t worry, big brother is here to save you from the dangers of cheese…

by on May.03, 2010, under Rants

So I’ve been following this story right? No, let me rephrase that, I’ve been trying to follow this story, but modern news sources refuse to do follow-ups unless the story is about a stupid white chick doing something stupid to mess up her own life… In which case, that’s the only story you’re going to hear about for the next six months…

all the single ladies

all the single ladies


I’m actually much too lazy to make an image collage right now, but you get my point. (continue reading…)

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Grow an Inflatable Backbone Canada

by on Mar.30, 2010, under Rants

So, let’s suppose, just hypothetically, that you’re a Canadian Alma Mater Society. Now, let’s suppose you’re both Canadian, and you want to do some charitable work. Being the noble off-spring of mounties, fur trappers, and wolverines, you’ve chosen to donate money to a foodbank, by holding an athletic contest. The nature of the contest? Well, nothing says good clean Canadian fun like an Inflatable Sumo Suit Competition. (continue reading…)

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