So you heard about this? MTV dropped Sacha Baron Cohen’s balls directly into Eminem’s mouth. Remember Sacha Baron Cohen? No. Bruno? No. Ali G? No. Borat? Okay, yea, that guy, he’s British and like eight feet tall, actually pretty funny. Well, in order to promote stupidity (the only product MTV auctually produces,) MTV stagged an “accident” where a scantly clad Bruno, (who is Sacha Baron Cohen, who is Ali G, who is Borat just to clarify,) dressed as “Ich bin dove of peace” fell from the sky, and his man eggs landed in Eminem’s (who is Slim Shady, who is Marshall Mathers just to clarify,) mouth.

The whole internet seems to be abuzz with questions:

• Was Eminem in on the prank?
• If Eminem looked up and saw Borat’s balls falling toward his face, why did he open his mouth?
• Was Eminem’s way too serious homophobic reaction part of a planned publicity stunt?
• Why do Eminem and D-12 all hit like girls? (Seriously watch the video, I’ve landed much more solid punches on pensioners.)

I only have two questions:

• What the fuck do they smoke over there at MTV?
• Where can I get some?

Seriously, MTV, when will you learn your lesson? This is going to go over about as well as the Janet Jackson / Justin Timberlake, nipple slip “wardrobe malfunction.” No one with an IQ above room temperature is going to believe this was an accident, and you’re going to end up paying a lot of money to the FCC, again.

In conclusion:

• Eminem, you hit like a girl.
• D-12, you all hit like girls.
• MTV, you suck.
• Janet Jackson, you are a nasty old cougar, keep that thing with the spinning rim on the end up it covered up, no one wants to see it.
• Justin Timberlake, you’re so dreamy.
• Bruno, keep it classy.
• Borat, very nice.
• Ali G, Respek.
• Drake, worst thing you’ve ever written.
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