I’ve heard of cutting off your nose to spite your face, but this is ridiculous. Apparently a “jilted” teenager cut off his penis to spite his girlfriend when he found out that she was about to marry another guy. Yea, that’ll show her buddy.

Bloody amateurs! Vengeance is best served cold. If I were giving advice to that Indonesian boy, I would have told him to do this…

1. Run away from home.
2. Move to Jakarta.
3. Get a job as an understudy at an aquarium.
4. Train a dolphin to attack on command (and not just when it wants to.)
5. Bust the dolphin out.
6. Ride the dolphin back home.
7. Just to show no hard feelings, invite your girlfriend and her soon to be hubby for a swim.
8. Give the command.
9. The dolphin attacks and rips your penis off, no wait, that didn’t work either, shit.