Old Man McDrake, I am a recent convert to the vegan lifestyle, and people keep giving me crap. When I eat with family, they make fun of me. When I eat out in public, all the waiters and cooks look at me funny when I ask for vegan versions of my meals. What kind of advice do you have to for me? Maybe something witty I could tell them?
Vegan in Virginia (continue reading…)

Mr. McDrake, I have a problem, my parents are advancing in age, and it’s about time to put them in a home. Now, my husband and I don’t have a lot of money, and can’t afford such things. I tell my husband that we should just wait for the evadable to happen, and when one of them gets hurt, adult protective services will step in and help. My husband says that isn’t right, he says my parents raised me, and I owe it to them.
Broke in Brooklyn (continue reading…)

Mr. McDrake, the most important relationship in my life, with the most amazing woman I have ever met has recently ended. I don’t know what I should do, all my friends tell me that “there are plenty of other fish in the sea,” and I should “just get the fuck over it,” but I find myself alone and hurting. I know it does me no good to dwell on it, but I can’t get over her. I think about her all the time, and everything reminds me of her. I am not some crybaby emo kid, I am just seriously hurting here, some people are suggesting I see a professional, what should I do? – Alone in Alabama (continue reading…)

Dearest McDrake, I have a slight problem. I have been dating this blond bird for several months and we have recently moved into the same flat. She is smokin hot right, but she never dresses as she should. Last week, we were supposed to meet my parents for the first time, but she insisted on wearing a spaghetti strap top with no bra and a short skirt with no underwear. I told her this wasn’t appropriate attire to wear when meeting my parents, this started a fight, and we ended up not going. I don’t know what to do, she dresses like this everywhere she goes. – Embarrassed in Essex (continue reading…)

You know what we’ve been missing here at drakegta.com? Talent, well, talent, and an advice columnist. So in order to fill this gap, we have recruited the most sought after advise columnist on the face of the earth, a man sought after by authorities in twenty-eight states and four municipalities, Old Man McDrake. Old Man McDrake is a wise and wizened old man, full of wisdom. Because we realize that the vast majority of people are mindless sheep, who can’t make decisions for themselves, we now offer that service for you.

Old Man McDrake will be doing our new columns, “AOMM: Ask Old Man McDrake” “WWOMMDD?: What Would Old Man McDrake Do (while) Drunk?“, and “WYHT?: Would You Hit That?”

If you have an inquiry for Old Man McDrake, feel free ask in the comments, or to drop us a line.