Darrian rake, well, since shithead hipster obviously loves waffles so much, you should have made a waffle for him, out of his face. I’m not talking about holding his head in the waffle maker, that’s non-sense. I mean, you should have waited outside, and used your ass stompin’ boots (you do own a pair of ass stompin’ boots right?) to leave a waffle like pattern on his forehead. Second off, while you’re curb stompin’ Mr. “Bullet for my emo kid” his girlfriend in the Ramones shirt, (she obviously has the better taste in music,) would appreciate your awesome display of manliness, and the welcome change of seeing a man who doesn’t have a bigger pussy than she does, so you and her could run off and do the “Blitzkrieg Bop” back in the room, while his sissy ass is “Suffocating Under Words of Sorrow.”

If you have an inquiry for Old Man McDrake, feel free ask in the comments, or to drop us a line.