Tyler wrote:
I read the David Cross article, and I am going to have to ask you to fire the writer. I am not going to sit here and nitpick the article, because I am not a dick and I basically stopped reading when the author cited Cross being most famous for Arrested Development. I stopped reading because I actually had to stop and think of who the hell you were referring to, then upon solving that mystery, I was angered by the fact that you had completely dismissed Mr.Show. I didn’t read the rest of the article, but I skimmed over it seeing a paragraph of attempted humor aimed at Larry the Cable Guy. Then I saw you cite webcomics as intellectual humor(Now here’s where I took offense, retard who wrote the article. You call out David Cross for his “faux-intellectual liberal” humor, and then turn around and cite WEBCOMICS). This right here proves that you have a author that doesn’t get out much besides what they manage to read on the internet. Another thing in the article is the author generalizes two populations of people, and then places himself above them. Does the author has aspergers?

Dearest Tyler;
Thank you greatly for your feedback, you raised an interesting question. Does DrakeGTA have Asperger syndrome? To answer this question, I asked the man himself. When I arrived at Drake’s house, he was dressed in a bloody shower curtain curled up in a fetal position on the floor, banging his head on the wall. I asked him what his problem was, he shrugged his shoulders and said “Meh, Tuesdays.” So in answer to that question, no, I don’t think Drake has Asperger’s syndrome, because Asperger’s is described as “high functioning autiusm” and if you’ve ever known Drake, you would agree, there is nothing about him that can be described has high functioning, or even functioning.

In response to the part about Drake not getting out much, what can I say? We’re not encouraging Drake to get out much, it’s really not safe for him out here; furthermore, it’s really safer for us that he’s in there. We’re talking about a guy who thought dropping acid involved a bottle of hydrochloric acid, and did it anyway. Last time Drake had a night out, I had to sell part of my vintage pornography collection to hire AJ’s legal team to “persuade” the district attorney to drop the case, and now we’re all banned from Chuck E. Cheese’s Pizza Time Theatre for life.

As for firing Drake, na; it seems to me that your major complaint is that you read the post to imply that Drake thinks that he’s both better than “faux-intellectual liberals” and Larry The Cable Guy fans. He never mentioned anything about being better than Larry The Cable Guy fans, just being better than faux-intellectual liberals; and you know what, even if he’s a mentally unstable violent registered offerner, he is better than faux-intellectual liberals who are too good to appreciate webcomics.

Sincerely,
Old Man McDrake.

Now, for those of you with nothing better to do, here is the very long, two part, offending clip…

Now, first off, David Cross is picking on Larry The Cable Guy. Do you realize how much comedic talent it takes to make fun of Larry the Cable Guy? My grandma could make fun of Larry the Cable Guy, and she’s dead. Google once stopped using CAPTCHAs for their registration process, and instead asked users to destroy Larry the Cable Guy in two sentences or less, but they had to stop, because even the shittiest spam bots could defeat it. If comedy were skating, making fun of Larry the Cable Guy would be a trick called “getting on the board.” I’m sorry, a linguistic study of the English language found that its almost impossible to construct a grammatically correct sentence without insulting Larry the Cable Guy. 1000 monkeys randomly banging at keys on typewriters would write 100 billion pages about how much shit Larry the Cable Guy sucks before they wrote a single page of Shakespeare.

Now here’s where I took offense, David. You call out Larry The Cable Guy for his “anti-intellectual” humor. Just as an aside, that’s like calling out Andrew Dice Claw for using foul language, or Bill Cosby for being a white guy pretending to be black. While you’re at it, you might as well accuse Chris Rock of using racial humor and Ellen of playing the rug muncher card. Mr. Cross, I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but you aren’t exactly pushing intellectual humor yourself. You want to see intellectual humor? Go read XKCD, Abstruse Goose, or PhD Comics. Sure, Larry the Cable Guy is pushing anti-intellectual humor, but you’re pushing “faux intellectual humor.” You aren’t writing jokes about the wave–particle duality of single surface plasmon polaritons and postmodern philosophy here David. You’re right, Larry the Cable Guy is playing dumb to entertain some misguided rednecks, the problem is, you’re playing smart to entertain a bunch of dipshit liberal faux intellectuals. At least Larry the Cable Guy understands he doesn’t really fuck his sister, the problem is, you really think you’re a smart guy.

Now don’t get my wrong, most people think they are smart, most people are incorrect; however, David you’re that special breed of asshole that lords it over everyone. Sure, Larry the Cable Guy’s fans might all come to the show to hear racist jokes and talk about the time they saw Elvis at Wal-mart, but David Cross fans come to the show to pretend to be smart by laughing at jokes they pretend are funny and hanging out with fake people they pretend to like, talking about the time they saw Al Gore at a Whole Foods while they were stuffing organic groceries into the back of their Prius.

Fuck you David Cross, you ain’t foolin’ me, you Northside High School art-fag dick, you tried to start controversy by billing yourself as the Jewish-Atheist, and it didn’t work, so you attack the most vulnerable target in comedy, Larry the Cable Guy. You don’t make yourself look tough by beating up retards, and you don’t prove you’re not PC by spouting a bunch of big words at the self-appointed mascot for inbreeding.