drakegta.com » Macaulay Culkin

¡Dios mío! Lives of La Parkita and Espectrito Jr. cut short

El Drako — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 06:10:51 +0000

If there are two things that El Drako respects in life, it’s burritos, and Lucha Libre, however, there is one kind of person who El Drako respects most of all, Los Poquito Lucha Libres (Midget Mexican Wrestlers.) The Midget is the most noble of all God’s creations, for no other creature packs so much pride and nobility into such a small body. Yes, when you do the math, the Midget Wrestler is pound per pound, the most awesome being alive.

The Face of a Killer

I am saddened to the point of tears to tell you that two of Mexico’s greatest costume wrestlers, La Parkita and Espectrito Jr. were brutally murdered this week in a Mexico City Hotel Room, by female gangsters. Do not laugh, for this is most serious, la policía claim that a gang of women murdered La Parkita and Espectrito Jr. because they were trying to pay for sex with the hookers, but came up short. I don’t believe this, it obviously doesn’t measure up.

I believe this is a conspiracy, against the Mexican people, to kill two noble Lucha Libres and blame their deaths on noble prostitutes. You cannot fool me la policía, for I am El Drako, and I possess wisdom beyond my understanding. El Drako thinks that they are hiding something, for their lies fall perilously short. El Drako knows this kind of lie would not fly in San Diablo, where the women swoon for all the mighty Lucha Libres, most especially, Los Poquito Lucha Libres. These men had no need of the prostitutes, because they could have had all of the ladies that they wanted, with mojadoa almeja.

I know who did this, it was El Hombre de Macaulay Culkin. That’s right hijo de puta, I know it was you Culkin, mama la pinga.

La Parkita, you will be missed, Enjoy…

La Danza De La Parka

New Six Word Story

Darian rake — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 05:14:21 +0000

Hey, they took another one of my Six Word Stories.

Jackson dead; Culkin unavailable for comment.

Michael Jackson Dead: Macaulay Culkin Suspiciously Unavailable for Comment

Darian rake — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 03:16:30 +0000

You have to respect a guy who’s music was so good, he could turn himself into a white woman, take that Home Alone kid to “Never Never Land,” and dangle his children off of a balcony, and yet, we let all that slide. You like conspiracy theories? Well, you heard it here first.

First, let’s look at the facts. They say he died of cardiac arrest, but I have it on a good source*, that the crime scene did not indicate a simple heart attack. No, based on the evidence, The King of Pop first tripped over Hot Wheels left on the stairs, then was hit by buckets of paint on strings, and fell to the bottom where he landed on Christmas bulbs, triggering a fan to blow feathers on him and a red hot iron to land on his face.

The Face of a Killer

Does that sound suspicious to you? You might ask, why are the police holding this information back? It’s obvious isn’t it? After Home Alone Part One, Culkin acquired a blood lust, before Part Two Culkin moved to New York and set his sights on bigger things, then the documentary on Culkin’s early life, “The Good Son” came out, exposing him as the psychopath he was. Afraid, Culkin went into hidding while hatching his master plan, using a clone created at the secret military installation under Dulce Mountain, New Mexico, the CIA working with Goodwill subjected a replicate to repetitive torture at Neverland Ranch, so that Culkin could fall out of the radar and complete his Borne Alternative; they called it operation Pagemaster, but we called it 9-11.

That’s right, Culkin did 9-11, you heard it here first.

*By good source, I mean an interview with Alex Jones of prisonplanet.com