The Face of a Killer

I am saddened to the point of tears to tell you that two of Mexico’s greatest costume wrestlers, La Parkita and Espectrito Jr. were brutally murdered this week in a Mexico City Hotel Room, by female gangsters. Do not laugh, for this is most serious, la policía claim that a gang of women murdered La Parkita and Espectrito Jr. because they were trying to pay for sex with the hookers, but came up short. I don’t believe this, it obviously doesn’t measure up.

I believe this is a conspiracy, against the Mexican people, to kill two noble Lucha Libres and blame their deaths on noble prostitutes. You cannot fool me la policía, for I am El Drako, and I possess wisdom beyond my understanding. El Drako thinks that they are hiding something, for their lies fall perilously short. El Drako knows this kind of lie would not fly in San Diablo, where the women swoon for all the mighty Lucha Libres, most especially, Los Poquito Lucha Libres. These men had no need of the prostitutes, because they could have had all of the ladies that they wanted, with mojadoa almeja.

I know who did this, it was El Hombre de Macaulay Culkin. That’s right hijo de puta, I know it was you Culkin, mama la pinga.

La Parkita, you will be missed, Enjoy…

La Danza De La Parka

Hello sissy girls, it is I, El Drako, I have returned to make the mens’ hearts quiver with fear, and to make the womens’ hearts tremble with desire. I find it necessary to express my distress for the way you Americans treat your wrestlers. I will have you to know, that in San Diablo, all give honer to the mighty calf muscles of El Drako.

In the city of Denver, two events were booked for the same night, at the same arena. The sissy basketball players, and the mighty WWE wrestlers. The wrestlers signed up first, and then the basketballers had the huevos to sign up also. Do you know who got kicked out? No, it was not the sissy basketballers as you would have expected, it was the glorious wrestlers.

This would not fly in San Diablo. In San Diablo, the wrestlers would have staged a riot all throughout the streets of Denver City. The men would be lying in the street have been knocked out, by the mighty fists of El Drako; and the women would be lying in the street having been swooned, by the mighty calf muscles of El Drako. The streets of Denver City would have ran red and white; red with blood, and white with ticker-tape.

Your country has no respect for the grand tradition of wrestling, for the honer and chivalry it takes to strike another man about the face with a folding chair. Think of the children, what kind of example are you setting for los poquito niños? El Drako will not stand for this, I curse you Denver City, I curse you with a curse my honored father taught me long ago in San Diablo: “Until the day you make things right with the wrestlers, Denver City; may the goats eat all your onions and lettuce, and the coyotes eat all your chicken, and then, you will have not but beef and beans in your burritos.”