Rule #1: Do not lean on a Tron suit. A Tron suit is not a leaning post. Do not lean on it. Not only is it annoying, it’s a gross invasion of my personal space. Imagine if you had to deal with a bunch of random assholes and dipshits coming up to you and randomly leaning on you. It would probably piss you off huh? It pisses me off too so don’t do it. If you do, I’ll move and watch you fall on your ass.

Rule #2: Do not sit on the back of a Tron suit. I’m actually amazed I have to write this one. It’s just so fucking stupid that I can’t believe the thought crosses a person’s mind. It can bend the Tron suit’s handles and it would be a pain in the ass to repair. Hell, I’m not sure it could be repaired. Also, my head is dangerously close to your ass. Calling it uncomfortable for me would be a massive understatement. I will move and you will fall.

Rule #3: Do not, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES fuck with the lights. Apparently, some assholes with the maturity of your average preschooler think it’s in some way funny to mess with the lights of a person’s Tron suit. I think the line of logic goes something like this:

“Dur….. Let’s put the lights on this guy’s Tron suit! When he tries to move he’ll glow! Huh huh huh”

If that joke and an actual funny joke were two points on a graph, the line between the two wouldn’t fit in the universe! Let me make this clear: It isn’t funny AND It makes you look like an ignorant dumbfuck! If you touch my lights, I will break your hand. No pun intended.

Rule #4: Do not move the Tron suit around without the owner’s permission unless there is an emergency.

Unlike everyone else on this list, I have no real anger towards these guys. I know they’re actually trying to be helpful. However, if you just go and move me, it kinda makes me feel like crap. Don’t ask me why. It just does. Must be a pride thing or some shit. If you need me to move, all you have to do is ask. If I need help from you, I’ll politely ask. Agreed?

Rule #5 Do not let your kid play in my Tron suit unless they get my permission (or you bribe me with a substantial amount of money). I saved these assholes for last because I hate them the most. I’m talking about parents who won’t keep their kids in line and act like it’s so fucking cute when their kid starts playing around with my Tron suit. In my opinion, the scenario should play out like this :

Kid: *gets in Tron suit when I’m not in it*
Me: Excuse me ma’am your kid is in my Tron suit. It’s expensive and I don’t like people fooling around with it. Can you please get them out of it?
Parent: That’s not yours. * removes kid from Tron suit.*
Me: Thank you.

Unfortunately, most parents aren’t this intelligent. This is how the situation usually plays out:

Kid: *gets in Tron suit*
Me: Excuse me ma-
Parent: Hey look at him he looks so cute playing in Ttam’s Tron suit! Someone get the camera!
Ttam: I do not like-
Person (usually mom, sister, or dad): Relax he’s only playing around!

And this is typically the point where everyone says I’M the bad guy. They’ve gotta be the biggest argument for a mandatory sterilization policy I’ve ever fucking seen! We all know if the kid started playing around with some of their parents’ expensive shit, they’d start wailing on the kid’s ass.

Parents, I don’t give two shits if you think your kids look cute playing in my Tron suit. In fact, if I gave a shit about your opinion AT ALL, I wouldn’t be typing this. The truth of the matter is that you are an unfit parent! Do you want to know why? When you let your kid play with a person’s Tron suit without the owner’s permission, you are teaching them the following things:

A. That it’s ok to screw around with people’s shit if it makes someone else laugh or say that they’re cute.
B. That people with social disabilities don’t have the same rights to personal property that everyone else does.

If you think I’m reading too deep into this shit, please reread rules 1, 2, and 3. If parents would step the fuck up, do their fucking jobs, and teach their kids to respect other people’s property regardless of the owner’s social ability, I probably wouldn’t have to deal with people getting into my personal space and screwing with my brakes all the time.

I’m not asking people to move the world here. I’m just asking you all to give me the same respect I (often grudgingly) give you.

Thank you and good night.

*This is a rant has been a parody of: “Do Not Fuck With My Wheelchair ” by MATT*