Old Man McDrake, you won’t believe this shit. I’m forty-two right, and this forty-eight year-old guy I was dating moved in with me, everything was good for aboot a year. Aboot two months ago, he told me he was leaving me for a younger woman, that was upsetting enough, until I find out that this younger woman is my eighteen year-old daughter, who has recently moved out of my house, and moved in with him. Wait, wait, it gets better, she moved into a flat with him; but she didn’t take her husband and two kids, who all still live with me. I thought maybe this was a joke, or it would only last a couple of weeks, but it been two months, and my daughter still sends me texts about the great sex she’s having with my boyfriend. What the fuck? I mean seriously McDrake, what the hell would you do? I’m thinking aboot taking a hockey stick to the whole lot of them.

Vengeful in Vancouver (continue reading…)

Mr. McDrake, I had an interesting experience, on a recent trip to Carlsbad Caverns, something happened in the hotel. I got up early, and ran down to get the free continental breakfast, and I lined up to get a waffle, because frankly, waffles are the shit. I started a waffle cooking, and before it finished, my five-year-old kid took off running out of the room (the way five-year-olds are known to do.) I chase her down, and by the time I come back, some asshole hipster with a “Bullet for My Valentine” tee-shirt is guarding my waffle and has decided it’s his. So I wait, being the nice guy that I am, and when my waffle finishes, he puts it on a plate for himself, and starts cooking another, also for himself. Him and his hipster girlfriend (in a Ramones shirt) eat about four waffles a piece, guarding the waffle maker so no one else can get any, and then cook about six more waffles that they take with them when they leave. Long story short, I didn’t get a waffle, and I left pissed off and hungry. What would you have done?
Darrian rake (continue reading…)

Mr. McDrake, I have a problem. A friend of mine keeps insisting we go vacation with him in his lake house. The problem is his lake house is a collapsing dilapidated run down shack next to a part of the lake that’s infested with bugs. The truth is, it’s a miserable place, and a vacation spent here would actually be a nightmare. I don’t want to offend this guy, What Would Old Man McDrake Do (while) Drunk?
Troubled in Texarkana. (continue reading…)

You know what we’ve been missing here at drakegta.com? Talent, well, talent, and an advice columnist. So in order to fill this gap, we have recruited the most sought after advise columnist on the face of the earth, a man sought after by authorities in twenty-eight states and four municipalities, Old Man McDrake. Old Man McDrake is a wise and wizened old man, full of wisdom. Because we realize that the vast majority of people are mindless sheep, who can’t make decisions for themselves, we now offer that service for you.

Old Man McDrake will be doing our new columns, “AOMM: Ask Old Man McDrake” “WWOMMDD?: What Would Old Man McDrake Do (while) Drunk?“, and “WYHT?: Would You Hit That?”

If you have an inquiry for Old Man McDrake, feel free ask in the comments, or to drop us a line.