The following is a letter I received a while back regarding Darian Rake’s multiple posts on David Cross and my reply. I rarely reply to these type of letters, but I thought this one deserved special attention.

Tyler wrote:
I read the David Cross article, and I am going to have to ask you to fire the writer. I am not going to sit here and nitpick the article, because I am not a dick and I basically stopped reading when the author cited Cross being most famous for Arrested Development. I stopped reading because I actually had to stop and think of who the hell you were referring to, then upon solving that mystery, I was angered by the fact that you had completely dismissed Mr.Show. I didn’t read the rest of the article, but I skimmed over it seeing a paragraph of attempted humor aimed at Larry the Cable Guy. Then I saw you cite webcomics as intellectual humor(Now here’s where I took offense, retard who wrote the article. You call out David Cross for his “faux-intellectual liberal” humor, and then turn around and cite WEBCOMICS). This right here proves that you have a author that doesn’t get out much besides what they manage to read on the internet. Another thing in the article is the author generalizes two populations of people, and then places himself above them. Does the author has aspergers?

Dearest Tyler;
Thank you greatly for your feedback, you raised an interesting question. Does DrakeGTA have Asperger syndrome? To answer this question, I asked the man himself. When I arrived at Drake’s house, he was dressed in a bloody shower curtain curled up in a fetal position on the floor, banging his head on the wall. I asked him what his problem was, he shrugged his shoulders and said “Meh, Tuesdays.” So in answer to that question, no, I don’t think Drake has Asperger’s syndrome, because Asperger’s is described as “high functioning autiusm” and if you’ve ever known Drake, you would agree, there is nothing about him that can be described has high functioning, or even functioning.

In response to the part about Drake not getting out much, what can I say? We’re not encouraging Drake to get out much, it’s really not safe for him out here; furthermore, it’s really safer for us that he’s in there. We’re talking about a guy who thought dropping acid involved a bottle of hydrochloric acid, and did it anyway. Last time Drake had a night out, I had to sell part of my vintage pornography collection to hire AJ’s legal team to “persuade” the district attorney to drop the case, and now we’re all banned from Chuck E. Cheese’s Pizza Time Theatre for life.

As for firing Drake, na; it seems to me that your major complaint is that you read the post to imply that Drake thinks that he’s both better than “faux-intellectual liberals” and Larry The Cable Guy fans. He never mentioned anything about being better than Larry The Cable Guy fans, just being better than faux-intellectual liberals; and you know what, even if he’s a mentally unstable violent registered offerner, he is better than faux-intellectual liberals who are too good to appreciate webcomics.

Sincerely,
Old Man McDrake.